This week we examine whether Camp Lemmioner (CL) is more closely aligned with a prison or a paradise. While your initial estimate may favor one over the other, you may be surprised after taking a closer look.
1. Lodging: In my last blog, I noted the similar dimensions of my quarters compared to a prison cell. My room is slightly larger but lacks a sink and toilet, which a prison cell has. Sure, the door locks from the inside and not the outside but that is not enough to offset the sink/toilet upgrade. Lock me in my room during the hours I am asleep, not a big deal.
Edge: Prison.
2. Access to the facility: Both places feature very high walls topped with razor wire, tightly controlled access in and out, and armed guards. Those at CL can leave the camp for the day with prior approval. In prison, you can leave the facility but the best you can hope for is a chain gang or picking up trash along the highway. At CL, I can move about freely 24/7.
Edge: CL
3. Alcohol: At CL, you are permitted to have (3) beers or servings of wine per day but it can only be consumed on the premises in the two places that serve. You need to have your ration card and ID; cost $3.50. No alcohol in your room, hard liquor is prohibited. In prison, all alcohol is prohibited. However, alcohol is easily produced using fruit, sugar, and yeast. The resulting "hooch" probably leaves something to be desired given how bad it probably tastes but it is free and you can make it in your room (cell). Sure you have to hide it in your toilet so the "screws" don't find it when they toss your room upside down looking for contraband but at least you have a toilet.
Edge: Prison (due to the permissive enviroment and low cost)
4. Food: 3 squares at CL and prison might make this one a draw. The food in prison doesn't look very good based on the movies I have seen. I don't think they have a salad bar either. CL has food available 22 hours a day, fresh cut fruit, salad bar, NY strip steaks on Sat for dinner (usually overcooked), and "seafood Friday" (I had (3) 4 oz lobster tails, yum).
Edge: CL
5. Recreation: If you have a captive audience and you don't give them something to do, they will find something to do. Prison has the rec yard for various athletic activities, in room TV, movie night, library, and knitting club. CL has air conditioned gym, basketball/volleyball court, movie night, sports leagues, karaoke at the primary recreational facility where there are also pool tables, wireless internet, ping pong and darts. I also play Texas Hold'em on Tues and Sat (they play cards in prison too).
The kicker is that CL sponsors off base recreational trips to include restaurants out in town, scuba diving, snorkeling and shopping excursions.
Edge: CL
Weather: Most prisons are in fairly agreeable climates except for TX and AZ and you only get limited time in the yard anyways. CL is located in Djibouti City, Djibouti, which typically has some of the hottest temps on the continent. Summer temps typically 110-120F and high humidity. Let's face it, it is pretty damn hot here and most people walk wherever they need to go.
Edge: Prison (outside of TX and AZ)
Bedding: As previously posted, I have sheets made from a 50/50 cotton polyester blend. Fabric of prison sheets could not be determined through my research.
Edge: Inconclusive
Well, an interesting result....3 to 3 with one going to neither.
Given the fact that you don't have to join the Aryan Brotherhood/ Mexican Mafia/Black Guerilla Family to stay alive, not getting shanked in the yard, and dudes aren't getting raped in the shower, I'll have to give an extra point to CL, making them the winner.
Now, if I could only get them to ditch the cotton/poly sheets, we would really be in business.
Cheers,
Michael
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